TCoA ??

TCoA 9

'Twas the night before Christmas, Santa Claus was flying around the world; reindeer being forced to work for old Saint Nick, their free will having been stolen, they were a bit grumpy. Old Nick was on his 9,203rd house, going vertically straight from Washington, D.C. was in Connecticut by now. Seeing a large house, he slowed down and brought his emo reindeer upon the roof. He grabbed his sack of toys and iTunes giftcards and jumped down the chimney, kinda angry that this family didn't bother to clean their fireplace. Landing on ash and a rusty nail, he looked at his surroundings to see what he was dealing with. He was surveying in a circular motion, when he saw a little child; which did not please him. "C'mon kid, why are you up?" This child was no normal child: he was.. the INFAMOUS JOSHUA HAYASHIDA!! Joshua had been staying up, hoping to see Santa. His dreams and desires having been completed, could die in peace. Santa Claus still was asking his question when out of the corner of his eyes, saw a rather large boy in PJs… No, wait.. FOOTIES! THIS BOY WAS IN FOOTIES!! .. no wonder he was so stealthy.. Saint Nick completely freaked out and started yelling in german which neither Joshua or the footied boy could understand, as they were too freaked out because they didn't know why Santa Claus had freaked out. This wasn't known at the time, but through scientific testing it has been found that Santa Claus has epileptic fits when he sees people in footies. The footied boy decided to go ahead and pickpocket Santa (THE BAD BOY!!) After doing so, he started playing with Santa's iPhone. He found these contacts: The Tooth Fairy, Chuck Norris, Josiah Colle, World of Warcraft Customer Support, The easter bunny, and Orville Wright. Getting bored with that, he looked as his notes.. There were a few interesting titled ones: "WoW PASSWORD", "Teeth whitening & weight loss plan". Since the footied boy was a slow reader, Santa claus was awake and staring at him. Awkwardness ensued.. And this conversation which Santa started:
"wat r u doing"
"looking at your notes noob"
"YOU'RE GOING ON THE NAUGHTY LIST!"
"no plz forgiv me plz plz plz"
"kk give me my fone back plzzzz"
"kk !!"
After they had solved their differences, they were completed friends forever and ever. Santa took him back to the north pole to show him the wonders of the elves' work and the kingdom he had achieved through absolute monarchy and despotism and hatred and siberia; to which the footied boy responded very joyously and screamed that he loved the world and all it's inhabitants and they he was ordering a #3 from the value meal, and no, he would not like mayonnaise on his chicken strips, because mayonnaise is a horrible substance made from fat and more fat. Ketchup is better.

ANYWAYS

Joshua was kinda lonely since Santa took away his brother, the footied man. He turned around and saw two faintly defined figures in the flickering light of the Christmas tree; one was short, and the other was shorter. One had a beard, and one didn't. One had a ponytail, and one.. I'm not sure. Their names were Caleb and Emily. Caleb was a cheerful and jolly fellow, full of happiness of wonderful happy non-depressing song lyrics and Emily was just standing there. Josh told them both these words: "WE MUST RECAPTURE OUR MYSTERIOUS FOOTIED SIBLING!!" to which Emily responded: "no" and Caleb started singing the song entitled 'Joy to the World'. Josh did a facepalm and offered them both infinite bowls of buttered noodles, and they accepted. Going to the garage, Joshua unveiled his secret invention he had been working on since he was born; a flying cow that runs off of pure crude oil! It was a 3-seater: perfect for their current needs! "Hop aboard, jolly friends! We must save our brother!" They hopped on and sailed off in the sea of peace and beluga whales.. Never to return until tomorrow morning. The sea connecting Connecticut and the North Pole is called Canada, which only contains beluga whales, beavers, and igloos for the beavers. After 12 minutes of tireless sailing, they arrived at their destination. Joshua spotted Santa Claus's headquarters - the Eiffel Tower. He steered the flying cow that runs off of pure crude oil into the runway specifically made for flying animals. The semi-happy trio jumped off of the cow and ran up all the stairs. After the duration of an hour and 18 minutes had elapsed, they emerged, panting, upon the top level of the Eiffel Tower. They then realized there was an elevator next to the stairs. They all facepalmed and crying.

ANYWAYS

Santa Claus was sitting upon his throne of absolute monarchy and despotism and hatred and siberian eskimos, when he saw a boy named Joshua Hayashida and two footied figures. Upon this, he had an epileptic fit and flew off into oblivion! They grabbed the boy, who turned out to be Matt Tinsley. The three stared at him, not knowing what to say. He wasn't their brother. Matt was like: "ppl i think ur frend is liek.. not heer!! doods, i think he mite be a-" When he suddenly started to deteriorate into a state of mind where he would only babble about photographic details.. "1/400s f/5.6 ISO100 30mm, f8, 1/250s, ISO200, EV-0.5" and proceeded to blow up. But not really, he was still sitting there not babbling and decided to join the dynamic trio and made it the.. FANTASTIC FOUR!! KAPOW! SKADOOSH!!

ANYWAYS

They started upon the journey of finding their brother, Samuel Hayashida. They used a GPS they had picked up at Best Buy on the way for a deduced price of 99.95 (plus tax). The GPS said they needed to take the ramp onto the internet highway of the interwebs of the molecules of hatred and siberian eskimos that eat ice cream. They proceeded to do this, and found Samuel sitting with a group of siberian eskimos eating ice cream. They took him, hopped on the cow that ran off of pure crude oil, which was having problems carrying all 5 of them. But, it all ended happily in Connecticut and the Hayashidas now live in peace, along with Matthew Charles Tinsley living with them.

The End.




just liek i mite hav a few mispelz n run on sentencz